What number do you call?
by MurielLeeJones
Summary: Okey dokey darlings, started for a prompt meme prompt, and then—I can be so bad at the internet—I lost track of the damn meme. Anyways, trigger warning: RAPE –I am not kidding you. This is as graphic as I can be without being graphic. The original prompt was, more or less, Hotch/Reid, enacting a rape fantasy, Jack accidentally sees it, and calls Morgan for help.
1. Chapter 1

Okey dokey darlings, started for a prompt meme prompt, and then—I can be so bad at the internet—I lost track of the damn meme. Anyways, trigger warning: RAPE –I am not kidding you. This is as graphic as I can be without being graphic. The original prompt was, more or less, Hotch/Reid, enacting a rape fantasy, Jack accidentally sees it, and calls Morgan for help…..there you have it.

Oh, do not own criminal minds, do not make money off of this story, never have, never will.

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"What number do you call?"

"Press three for Uncle Morgan."

"What's Uncle Morgan's whole number?"

And Jack duly recited it to Aaron Hothner.

"If Daddy is hurt who do you call?"

"Uncle Morgan."

"If Uncle Spencer is hurt who do you call?"

"Uncle Morgan."

"What's Uncle Morgan's number?"

Everyday Aaron Hotchner made sure his little boy knew how to call for help. And Jack Hotchner was a fast and thorough learner.

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Aaron tried not to be horrified at what Spencer wanted. "I know you don't really want to be raped, that you are asking me to act as though I am raping you that frightens me."

Whoever has said the sub had the power was right. Aaron was sharing feelings he didn't know he had, and now that he knew he had them he would rather not be discussing them. More than once he had wondered what it would be like to take Spencer forcibly, not against his will, but forcibly; feeling Spencer fight against him, what noises would Spencer make. Would Spencer fight him off? Would Spencer come? He could see his cuffs on Spencer's wrists, Spencer's ankles bound and spread against the bed posts. Spencer begging. Yes or no? For which would Spencer beg? Would Spencer use their safe word? Would that stop him? He knew that he would stop; he just didn't think he would want to. He wanted Spencer to know that he, Aaron Hotchner could force Dr. Spencer Reid into the most humiliating of sexual submissions. Oh God, he hadn't planned on exploring that thought at all.

"Aaron, I would like you to rape me—not pretend to rape me. I. want. You. To. Rape. Me. I want you to physically make me submit to you. I want you to overpower me, I want you to rip my clothes, as necessary off, I want you to force my compliance, with your gun, with restraints, with threats, with any or all of those things, make me open my legs for you—even if I deny wanting you, even when I try to deny you entry. No matter what I say once we have started you will subdue me, you will fuck me, hard, up the ass, and there will be no safe word; even if I use a safeword, you will finish up what you started."

There was silence. "Aaron, please, don't make me explain this, just let me need it." Spencer was already humiliated at having to ask.

Aaron looked worried, he lifted and eyebrow, he looked slightly askance at his lover, then he nodded.

Spencer didn't know what he had just asked. Or worse, maybe he did.

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"'night Jack!"

"Goodnight moonshine!" Spencer whispered, his little joke, Aaron was going to have to put a stop the silly name.

Aaron and Spencer ruffled their little boy's hair and then waited as he fell asleep. They both wished they could sleep like he did. In an hour nothing would wake him.

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Spencer smiled, in an hour they would have the rest of the evening to themselves, and the next two days off to recover. Spencer fully expected Aaron to get into this, he was hoping there wouldn't be any too obvious bruising. He found himself afraid, he hadn't been explicit in what he had asked Aaron to do, the lack of information was already frightening, but the fear, the unknown, the unexpected, was integral to the fantasy. He would finish the dishes while he waited to be sure Jack was asleep.

A hand covered his mouth, and a gun pressed to the back of his neck. He squealed, the sound muffled by the hand not just forcing his mouth shut, but pushing up against his nose, making it hard to breath. Aaron would never put a loaded gun against his neck, Aaron wouldn't keep a loaded gun in the house, Aaron's gun should be in the gun safe. Spencer felt cold fear, he felt a line of sweat down his back, he felt his hackles prick up, and tears spring to his eyes. He fought to turn around—he needed to know that this was in fact Aaron.

Spencer struggled to throw his shoulders side to side and arched his back against his assailant. Please let this be Aaron. He threw himself forward, but remained unable to unbalance his attacker. He closed his eyes, he did better in hand-to-hand fighting with his eyes closed. He was surrounded by the distinct irreplaceable smell of Aaron.

Spencer was about to feel relieved then the hand with the gun traveled a menacing line around his neck and across his throat, the arm finding a comfortable spot putting just enough pressure on his windpipe that Spencer was sure Aaron meant business.

Aaron still hadn't said a word. Spencer made up his mind to comply, if he made any noise he could wake Jack, Jack hadn't been asleep that long had he? The thought of Jack walking in on them at any time could be a little unnerving; the thought of Jack walking in on Aaron sexually assaulting him in the kitchen was outright terrifying.

"Shusssshhhhh." whispered Aaron in Spencer's ear, as he slowly released the grip over Spencer's mouth. "You asked for this." He ran his thumb around Spencer's lips.

Spencer's throat tightened, he needed out, out of this now. He lunged forward biting at Aaron's thumb, there was nothing to see yet even if Jack woke up. Aaron in a single movement threw Spencer forward against the sink, tightened his arm across Spencer's throat, and used his free hand to twist Spencer's face to the side. "You'll regret that," he murmured, as soft as gently spoken as any endearment he had ever uttered while making love.

Aaron released Spencer's face, he released his throat enough that Spencer knew he wasn't in imminent danger of asphyxiating, he used the gun to touch Spencer's belt, he ran the barrel down Spencer's fly, into Spencer's crotch, "everything, Spencer, everything down here is mine, your cock, your balls, your hole, you pretty little ass, all mine to do with as I please, and by the end of the evening you will know that in a way you will never forget." His voice was still soothing.

"Spencer?" Spencer looked up at Aaron with wide eyes, Aaron didn't think he had seen this much fear on Spencer's face since Hankle. Hankle hadn't? had he? He had never asked, there was plenty of time off camera; maybe he had; maybe that was why Spencer needed this; this was a damn bad coping mechanism. Aaron didn't want to be Hankle.

"Did he?" Spencer shook his head. "Then who?" Spencer tried to turn his face away. "Who?" Now Aaron's voice was menacing. It was probably for the best that he wasn't a therapist. "Who?" He slapped Spencer up the side of the face with the hand-gun. "Who, are you protecting Spencer?" Spencer choked back a sob. This wasn't meant to happen. Aaron was not meant to have at gunpoint in a strangle hold in the kitchen intimidating, interrogating him. And he was hard.

Aaron turned Spencer to face him. "Are you protecting your mother?" He shook Spencer violently, letting Spencer's head hit against a kitchen cabinet. "Are you protecting your mother? Did she do something to you?" Spencer looked horrified, and Aaron relented for a moment, holstering his gun, and holding Spencer. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Spencer nodded his assent into Aaron's shoulder. "How sure?" Spencer nodded again.

Aaron spun Spencer around, tripping him, throwing him to the ground, and kicking him in the crotch as he landed splayed, face down on the floor, Spencer tried to get up. Aaron kicked him in the ribs, crouched down menacingly and muttered, "We don't want anyone, and I do mean anyone, to hear, to know, and specifically see what I do to you tonight. Do you understand that?"

Spencer nodded, trying to catch his breath.

"Not another noise out of you, dr. Reid, or I will break your jaw, and I do mean it. If, and I do mean if, I chose for you to say anything you will answer me, immediately, and quietly and honestly." Aaron stood up and tapped Spencer in the face with his foot, not hard, just hard enough to open a lip, to bruise, to make him bleed.

Spencer slowly stood up. A nod from Aaron sent Spencer walking up the stairs. The adrenaline was gone, his hard on was gone, all that was left was Aaron, and letting Aaron erase anything that had happened to him before them.

Aaron shoved Spencer onto the bed, and handed Reid his own, Reid's own cuffs. "I thought you liked these better." He was right Reid preferred the 1950's style cuff, it was harder to pick and release. Spencer cuffed his hands and held them in front of his crotch. He licked the blood on his lip, there was a salt taste from tears he didn't know he had cried, probably from being kicked in the crotch. Then Aaron opened Spencer's fly tugged Spencer's jeans off, roughly pulled Spencer's boxers off, there was a little blood, probably from the kick. Aaron hadn't expected blood so soon. He looked at Spencer with concern. Spencer nodded.

"Ok?" Aaron lifted Spencer's face to his; he kissed Spencer's mouth softly. Large doe eyes, filled with love followed Aaron. Then Aaron placed a finger across Spencer's lips, "Only when I tell you, ok?" Spencer nodded. His cock and balls still hurt from the kick.

"Lay down." Aaron shoved Spencer toward the center of the bed. "Open your legs."

Spencer paused.

Aaron lent down and yanked on the cuffs, pulling Spencer's hands above his head, pulling Spencer over backward, crawling over him, linking the cuffs to a pre-placed pair at the headboard, forcing Spencer's legs apart with a knee. Spencer fought him, teeth clenched together to keep his silence, if he wanted this he needed to keep silent; if he cried out would Aaron stop? Or would Aaron hurt him? Did he want that? Either of those? Did he want this at all?

Spencer tried to hold his legs together as Hotch used his considerable upper body strength to force Spencer's legs wide; then settling himself between, effectively blocking any hope Spencer had ever had of holding Aaron out of his body. Hotch, fully dressed, zipper down, sat between Spencer's forcibly spread legs, he forced a finger into an unprepared Spencer, as Spencer whimpered.

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Jack got up. He was lonely, and things were different. He didn't like it when things were different, something might go wrong.

Usually Daddy and Pops would be downstairs doing the dishes and talking, and Daddy would have one of his special drinks, and Pops would complain, and then later Daddy would go and do some work, and pops would write one of those long stories he wrote and sent to people, and then Pops would go get Daddy, and sometimes Pops would just stand at Daddy's office door and watch Daddy, and he watched the look on Pop's face, because that looks said Daddy and Pops would be together forever, and Daddy and Pops loved each other, and when Daddy looked up he would have the same look, and then Jack would hurry to his bedroom and pretend to be asleep. Then after that they would come and check on him, and he would know that he was safe, and he could stop pretending and go to sleep.

But tonight Pops had gone to do the dishes and something had happened, something had gone wrong, he knew it had, and had to go and check on Pops and Daddy and see if he should call Uncle Morgan. He picked up his emergency phone. Daddy and Pops wouldn't like it that he checked, but he had to, what if one of them was hurt?

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Spencer fought against the cuffs, he didn't know if he was fighting Aaron's fingers in or out. He was just struggling.

"Tell me, Spencer, who you are trying to erase? Who did this to you Spencer? Who couldn't you say not to? Who didn't you say no to? Who did you say no to? Who Spencer, has taken and violated your body so much that you have to erase it?" Aaron ran the fingers of his free hand over Spencer's face, gently cupping his chin for a moment.

Spencer shook his head and tried to buck his hips up, tried to throw Aaron off. "No, Aaron, no, this isn't what I wanted, Aaron stop, please?"

Aaron straddled Spencer's hips, and lent menacingly over Spencer. "Tell me, and this ends." Aaron tightened a hand around Spencer's throat. "Tell me. And it all ends."

Spencer shook his head, trying to draw his knees up, trying to get away.

"Who did this first Spencer? I don't want you thinking about them, I want you thinking about me, about me between your thighs, about me forcing myself into you, about me taking you, making your mine, this is about us Spencer, and no one but us, about me owning you. You can give yourself, or I can force you, either way you are mine." Aaron never raised his voice, the empathy never left his eyes.

Spencer shook his head. "You know the Reily Jenkins case? My dad didn't do anything to Reily."

The missing part was he did other things, and Aaron could fill that in for himself. Spencer had given his truth over, now was the time for Aaron to take him, to own him.

The speed with which Aaron entered him surprised Spencer. He was unprepared, he jotled up at the sudden intrusion, suddenly being taken from a place where Aaron totally understood him, to a place where Aaron was ready to brutalize him, only Aaron's forgiveness to stand between his bliss and his pain.

"Aaron."

"Shusshh."

"Aaron it hurts."

"Shusshhh."

"Aaron, NO!" Spencer tried to pull away as Aaron's stokes got harder. Spencer let the tears fall down his face, he couldn't help it, he had no choice, Aaron knew why he wanted this. All he could do was focus on Aaron, accept Aaron's intrusion, Aaron's presence in, Aaron's force in his body.

"Aaron, it hurts."

Spencer raised his head, his eyes went wide, "Aaron!"

Aaron grabbed the ball gag and shoved it into Spencer's mouth, he would deal with the details in a second, right now subduing Spencer needed his full attention, he had started to struggle in earnest.

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Jack's eyes went wide. His mouth fell open. He gasped, the covered his mouth with a hand, nearly dropping his emergency phone. Daddy had tied Pops up and made Pops cry, he was hurting Pops he had heard Pops say so. Daddy wouldn't stop.

Jack knew his instructions. "Leave immediately. If you haven't been seen leave as quietly as you can, don't change anything, don't close doors."

He thought Pops had seen him, he thought Pops had wanted to say something t him, but he didn't think that counted.

"Leave the house if you can." He didn't think he could, Daddy always heard the door, the one time he had tried to visit Max next door Daddy had caught him and he wasn't happy, but this was the worst he had ever seen Daddy. Daddy was hurting Spencer.

"Call Uncle Morgan no matter what." Jack thought that "no matter what" included what Daddy was doing to Spencer.

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Spencer was struggling hard, he was kicking to a point that Aaron had to hold Spencer's legs with his thighs. He hadn't thought he could follow through, but Spencer struggling, bucking under him egged him on; then he would look at Spencer's flushed tear stained panicked face, and want to stop. He was hurting Spencer, no matter what Spencer had wanted, he was hurting Spencer. His own tears were ready to start. A sob broke out of him.

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"J.J. we need to get to Hotch's place NOW."

Morgan had got a desperate phone call from Jack.

"Daddy's hurting Spencer," Jack's voice was tiny.

He couldn't get much out of Jack. Jack was locked his room, Daddy and Pops were in their room, Pops was crying, he could see Daddy's gun, and Daddy wouldn't stop, and then he wouldn't let Pops speak."

If Aaron Hotchner so much as damaged a hair on Spencer's head Morgan would cut his damn balls off before he killed him slowly, by hand. He had known something like this would happen.

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J.J. had Jack in her arms and swept out of the house. Morgan, gun drawn proceeded to Hotch and Reid's room. That still irked him, Hotch and Reid's room, the power difference, the age difference, the experience difference was too obvious. He carefully pushed the door fully open with his gun drawn, he saw Reid's tear stained face, and Hotch fucking him. Reid shook his head, he looked directly at Morgan and shook his head.

"I can't"

Hotch was crying? He was definitely crying.

"I can't hurt you Spencer, no matter what you want."

It was amazing how even, how reassuring Hotch's voice was even under the worst of circumstances.

Aaron reached up and pulled the gag out of Spencer's mouth.

"Spencer?" it was Morgan's voice.

Hotch spun around. Gun pulled out of sheer instinct; balancing himself, semi-clothed, between Spencer's bloodied thighs, facing down the intruder.

"Oh god." Morgan shook his head, and holstered his gun. There was blood on Spencer's face, blood on his thighs, he was cuffed, and crying and helpless—and willing?

"Oh god." He turned and walked out, out of the room, out of the house.

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"JJ, everything's ok. I'll explain later." Morgan said quietly, nodding his head over to Jack.

"If everything's fine what is Daddy hurting Spencer?"

Oh he was happy to not be Aaron Hotchner just right now.

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	2. Chapter 2

Hey all, sorry I took so long to get this out….'specially to those of you who asked for it. I've been sick, I seem to have a brief reprieve tonight, and got this up and posted. I will get back to writing as soon as I can, but right now, just sick…and for some reason I still don't own criminal minds, or the characters, make no claims, make no money and all that kind of good things.

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"Jack?"

The little boy looked up at his father. He still had streaks from the tears of ealier, and looked nervous, almost comically like Spencer as he chewed his bottom lip. Jack raised his wide eyes and looked up at Aaron Hotchner.

Hotch sat down awkwardly, this was awkward and embarrassing and humiliating for both himself and Spencer, Spencer had brought this on them, but he Aaron, had agreed to it. Worse it was awkward and embarrassing for Jack—if he could avoid making it any worse for the boy it would be a relief to all involved.

Aaron looked away, then down at his knees, he knotted his fingers together. "I'm sorry. Spencer and I are sorry you saw what you saw."

Jack looked sideways at Aaron. "I know."

"And you did the right thing."

Jack looked at Aaron with the widest eyes Aaron had seen in a while.

"I told you to call Uncle Morgan any time someone was hurting Spencer or me, and you did that."

Aaron stared straight across the room.

"Daddy?"

Oh no, here it came.

"Was that sex?"

Jack had, mercifully mimicked his father's stare across the living room.

"No."

"Were you hurting Spencer on purpose?"

"WE, I, Spencer and I…." Aaron was at a complete loss for words. And he didn't know where Spencer was, and he had hurt Spencer—on purpose.

"Were you playing?" Jack had looked over, directly at Aaron.

Aaron Hotchner took a deep breath. His son should consider a career in law, his cross-examination skills were aggressive and spot on. At least Aaron wasn't being led, he hoped he wasn't being led.

"It's a type of playing." Aaron was acutely aware that he had told Jack it was never ok to hurt anyone when you were playing.

"And Spencer got hurt?"

An attorney, Jack should definitely be an attorney, Aaron was quite sure he was going to have to confess to something to get out of this.

"Daddy, you said," every parent dreaded 'you said', but in this context, oh dear, Aaron wasn't quite sure what stupid thing he had said earlier.

"You said sex was a special kind of playing that only adults can do, and"

Aaron Hotchner closed his eyes, hadn't he already denied this was sex? which wasn't quite true, but wasn't better than the truth?

"and that they sometimes take their clothes off, and close the door, and that only two people can do it, and that they have to love each other."

What Aaron heard was, ' Is it true that you said, in an earlier statement' definitely an attorney, probably a prosecutor.

"And you and Spencer love each other? Daddy?"

Aaron was taken aback, why would Jack think otherwise? Oh, that's right, here it came.

"You said we never hurt the people we love. Spencer said we sometimes hurt the people we love by accident."

Oh, here it came now.

"Was it an accident?"

'And,' thought Aaron to himself, 'the prosecution rests its case'.

"WE," Aaron paused staring at a rather disheveled Spencer stepping into the room.

"We are very sorry, Jack. That was something private between me and your father, and you should never have had to see it. Yes it was sex, yes it was playing, it was the kind of playing where someone can get hurt, and we should have been more careful. And Jack, this kind of thing is personal, and private, and could you promise me and your Dad that you won't tell anyone else about this? Like a secret? And we'll talk more about it later?"

"Like Hockey?"

Spencer looked puzzled, the smiled, "Yeah, like hockey, except it's a secret."

"'Kay." Jack nodded with the definite air of a boy who was finished with a conversation.

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Jack lay in bed and played with the keys on his emergency phone. Spencer had said he could have "angry birds", that would be nice, maybe they could do that tomorrow. He continued to fiddle. He really hadn't thought that his Dad and Spencer would have sex—It was disgusting—and somebody could get hurt. And they had asked him to keep a secret—about sex—which his Dad said he should never do. He ran the conversation with his Dad though his head, they had this one often, not every day, but often.

'Are adults ever allowed to ask you to keep secrets?' No.

'Are adults ever allowed to ask you to keep secrets about sex?' No.

'Not even adults you know and like, even family are allowed to ask you to keep that kind of secret.' Yes.

'Not even if they promise you something in exchange. Giving you something to not tell called a bribe, and it isn't a present.' Did angry birds count?

'You have to tell either me, or Spencer or Aunt Jessica; OK Buddy?"

Jack had solemnly nodded and promised; not thinking this problem would ever come up, Dad worried about him all the time, bad things happened, but Dad worried more than bad things really happened. And Dad said he did the right thing calling Uncle Morgan, and maybe he needed to do the right thing no matter what, 'cause Dad always did the right thing no matter what.

'Aunt Jessica's number is…' Dad had prompted him. '3.'

Jack fiddled with the phone. He looked at the number three. He couldn't very well tell Dad and Spencer he didn't know what to do, and Dad had said 'specially if it was someone in your family that you trusted, and Dad had said they would never be angry if he told about that sort of secret, and he had to tell that sort of secret. "Adults are never allowed to ask you to keep a secret." Jack worried for another moment. He hid his head under the blankets and pressed the number 3.

'


	3. Chapter 3

"Jack?"

"OH?" Jessica was wide awake.

"Your Daddy and Spencer were playing hockey?"

"OH?"

"And you Daddy said you should call me?"

"Daddy had a gun?" Now her slippers and robe were on, and Aunt Jessica was flying downstairs in her hair curlers ready to take on two armed and apparently insane FBI agents.

"He put the gun where?"

"Oh, Jack!"

"No Honey, that's not what we call that!" Did Aaron and his toy-boy agent really have to foist this upon her?

"We call that a penis."

"No a cock is a type of chicken."

"No Honey, Fuck is not word you are ever allowed to use."

"Not even when you are older."

"No, you should definitely not do that."

"Even when you are an adult, naked, in a room, with someone you want to make babies with."

"No Jack, it is called neither Hockey nor Fucking."

"And you may not say that word!"

Fuck you, Aaron Hotchner she cursed under her breath, and your stupid cock, which you might want to be careful where you put—Jessica cursed under her breath.

"Tied up?"

"Oh, Honey, yes, they were playing." What the hell? had she just heard that Aaron had raped Spencer? Had she just told a child that rape was playing? She couldn't take this on by herself, Aaron had always had problems, and he had snapped after her sister had died, and this pretty trophy boy was part of that, but rape? Jessica wasn't sure who she should call. If she reported them Aaron would never she Jack again. Maybe that was what should happen?

"Jack honey, how did you see this all?"

"You snuck into their bedroom and peaked?"

"Because Spencer was crying?"

"and your Dad said you should call me?"

"Because Spencer said you should keep it a secret?"

"Oh, after Uncle Morgan and Aunt JJ came?"

"And your Dad said to never keep this kind of secret?" she could see how Jack was out of people to tell!

"That's ok Jack, you should never keep this kind of secret." Damn Aaron, now she had to find a way to keep this secret? If Jack told his teacher this there would be all kinds of trouble.

"Jack, why would you think that?" This was the frightening piece; she wanted to promise Jack that no one would ever do this to him.

"Because Spencer said that his Daddy had?"

"Is that what frightened you Jack?"

What a sick solution.

"I promise you Jack, that your Daddy, and" take a big breath, "spencer would never ever do something like that to you."

"No, that is absolutely not what anyone does at Hockey games!"

She turned off her car engine, "Jack honey, do you feel better? And you know that Daddy and Spencer will keep you safe? And can you go back to sleep now?

Now what? She had to make a plan. Damn you Aaron Hotchner.


	4. Chapter 4

"Rossi." Dave snapped into the phone, " and this is my private line it had better be important!"

David Rossi struggled with his various limbs and those of a young guest spending the evening.

"Jessica? Is Aaron? Is everything ok? Jack what?"

"Hockey?"

As far as David Rossi was concerned anything short of the world actually ending could wait until morning. This might not wait until morning.

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David Rossi let himself into the Reid-Hotchner household just ahead of a godly hour. He had spent three hours convincing Jessica that this might not be something covered by compulsory reporting. As far as he could tell the household was governed by sensible rules, and lived in by rather less sensible souls.

Well, yes, he could see the problem—and apparently Jack had. Jessica, Rossi hoped, had misunderstood at least a few things.

Dave started some coffee and waited in the kitchen. First Jack came down. "Uncle Dave?" His confusion was almost comical, it would have been but for the poor kid having had such a rough night.

"Sssssshhhuuuusshh! We are waiting for your Dad and Spencer, ok?"

Jack shook his head.

"What the fuck?" Spencer squeaked, a few feet behind Jack, startled by finding Dave in the kitchen.

"You can't say that word even when you are grown up, and you're not allowed to do it ever again!" yelled Jack.

"You really shouldn't have done it tied up either." Dave whispered into his coffee.

"There's a kid in the house." Spencer whispered back.

"You should have thought of that last night." Dave responded with utter calm, raising his eyes to meet Spencer's.

"That's private." Aaron's voice was controlled, but far from calm.

"According to Jessica, it wasn't all that private last night."

Aaron's eyebrows shot up.

Jack's eyes were wide and his mouth was open.

Spencer smiled, "We did tell him to never keep a secret about, uh, hockey!" he added brightly.

Aaron looked as though hitting Spencer might be an actual option. Then he remembered that he had, and Jack had seen it, and he flinched, they had been very tired last night, and the no secrets policy remained important.

"and Jess said?"

"That you and Spencer got a little rough playing hockey?" Dave looked amused, probably because he was on his second cup of coffee, and, if nothing else this excursion was a great excuse to get rid of company that had overstayed its welcome. "Jack, can you tell your Dad what you saw? Or does that make you feel," pause, "confused?"

Jack shook his head. Jack was still a bit worried, but he was a very practical boy. "I saw you making love to Spencer, but you hurt him, and he said his dad had done it, and that's why you had to do it too, and he said he would stop. And you put the thing in Spencer's mouth, while you,"

"We," Spencer looked at the gathered company, "Jack, your dad and I love each other very much." He looked away, out into the hall. "And your family Jack is nothing like the family I grew up in. My Dad didn't know how to love me, so he hurt me. But your Dad loves you, and would never hurt you."

Jack looked relieved.

"So Jack, maybe we keep this story to our team, o.k? we know that Dad and Spencer made a mistake, and that you are safe, and sometimes we don't need to talk about things all the time?" Rossi was making big play for this to be over.

Jack nodded, "Ok, just so long as Dad doesn't do that to Spencer again."

Aaron ruffled his little boy's hair. "I promise that I won't hurt Spencer. And I would never ever hurt you Jack."

Jack looked at Spencer. "Its ok, Jack, your Dad and I talked about it, and it's ok."

Spencer handed Jack a bowl of cereal. "Could you watch cartoons Jack?"

The little boy solemnly nodded and headed out of the room, bowl in hand.

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"First," David Rossi looked Spencer in the eye, "For a genius, sometimes you're not very cleaver. And you Aaron, that was stupid." He took a sip of his black coffee. "and second, I hope your'e done with this stupidity, Spencer you have a doctorate in Psycology, you should know better."

"This is really none of your business Dave." Aaron interrupted, still coffeeless.

"Third, since you mention it, it has become my business and that of everyone else on team. So, fourth, if you need to finish this out Spencer—and Aaron—you are welcome to use my house. I'll give whatever help I can."

Rossi had really not intended to think about Aaron raping Spencer, had not expected the thought to be so erotic, and hadn't planned on nearly offering to do the deed himself.

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Si Fini—I think. Let me know if you want another chapter with Rossi and Reid and Aaron, and hmmmm….just let me know.


	5. Chapter 5

Warnings: rape, implied child abuse, mentions of cutting. I do mean these. This isn't explicit, but it is triggery. And spoilers for oh dear, everything? Hotch/Reid established; Morgan/Reid; Rossi/Reid and JJ.

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The dinner was pleasant and awkward. Dave was good, excellent, at social events, there had been no-one extra at the dinner, the team was there, Jack was not, he was with Will and Henry, and Jessica wasn't there, Penny had refused, Alex had bluntly told Spencer he was making a mistake, Emily regretted that she would not be there to pop a cherry, were there any cherries to be popped. Aaron, as private as he was stoic, moved from being embarrassed to humiliated at the thought of everyone to whom he was truly close having an insight into his sex life, and into his having hurt Spencer—something of which he deeply regretted.

"You don't like sex?" Morgan was astonished, if anyone should have reservations around sex it was him, but here he was listening to a story from Spencer Reid, that he wished had never happened to anyone. For himself it hadn't been the easiest journey, but with a woman, while cautious he was never expecting to be victimized, sure he worried about using them, about where they were coming from, ok, he admitted to himself, for someone with his reputation, he was anxious about sex. But not liking it? Seriously, pretty boy did need an intervention. He just couldn't listen to the story coming with it, without his stomach turning.

Dave looked over at the pair talking. Morgan had been so angry at Hotch, had told Hotch, loudly and clearly, that violence was never consensual, had informed Hotch that hurting Reid, not matter how consensual was not acceptable. Morgan, in short, was furious. He was finally in a place where he could talk to Reid without his own anger dominating the conversation. Then Reid reached out a hand, and pulled Morgan close and kissed him. It was sudden; it started everyone in the room. It startled Morgan. But the taste was oh, so good. He hadn't touched a man of his own free will ever, he hadn't wanted a man, until Spencer Reid. Maybe that was why he was so angry with Hotch? Because Hotch was hurting someone he loved? More than he had let on, even to himself. Morgan lent forward and took Spencer's lower lip in his mouth. The pulled away abruptly. "You really want to be?" He held his head at angle, listening intently to what Spencer said, then looking over at Hotch. "He asked me for it?" Aaron nodded, that was the plan for tonight, Spencer's needs, every which way.

JJ walked over and stood behind Spencer. He looked up at her, his most innocent smile on his face. "I'm ok JJ." What he didn't add in the moment was "I'm ok because you are here, and I know that you will protect me from every man in this room." Spencer didn't want to be afraid of men. He wondered if JJ was, he wondered if Morgan was, was Aaron—he flinched at that thought, was he damaging Aaron, he wondered if Morgan was working through his own things, as Morgan stepped forwards and straddled Spencer's lap, as Morgan place his hands over JJ's on Spencer's shoulders, as Morgan kissed Spencer. Spencer looked wild eyed. His squeak drew the attention of both Dave and Aaron.

Dave put a hand on Aaron shoulder. "He asked for it, that's why we're here, because he asked for it." Unsaid was "I know you are as afraid as he is, because you are going to watch someone you love be afraid, be intimidated, be hurt, and sexually assaulted. And your heart breaks that he needs that."

Everyone paused.

"I," Spencer looked over his shoulder at Aaron, "Morgan has my permission to touch me." His breath broke in a strange pattern, uneven, desire mixed with fear, his pupils open, desire and fear. Spencer sucked on his own tongue, licked his lips, he looked down into his lap, at Morgan sitting on him, effectively holding him place, then he turned his head sideways again, looking at Aaron exposing his neck to Morgan. Aaron Hotchner clenched his jaw, he didn't look at Morgan, he didn't look at JJ, he held his lover's, his love's, gaze. Only David Rossi's hand on his shoulder kept him from intervening, kept him from grabbing Morgan with both hands and beating him. "Aaron," there were tears in the corner's of Spencer's eyes now, "I chose this, I choose this."

Aaron Hotchner, already humiliated in front of his team, in front of his friends was about to cry again.

"Morgan, I choose this."

"Because I care about you," and unspoken, but understood by everyone in the room, "Because I love you more than I dare admit," and added out aloud, "because I want you be able to let go of those horrible things Pretty Boy, I will do this, but if you say no, or stop, I will stop, because I will not be another man who has forced you. Because people who love you Spencer, don't force themselves on you."

JJ's hands were what Spencer reached for, he entwined his large, elegant long hands with her small strong ones. Morgan cupped Spencer's face and half stood to kiss him again, to push his tongue into the slowly opening mouth, between those full soft lips, into the taste of coffee, and chocolate, and those things that made Spencer divine. Morgan let his hands run into the chestnut hair, to disorder the curls, he let himself make small noises of pleasure that, if he had thought about it, no one whom he cared for, no one for whom he cared would ever have heard him make before. Morgan looked up at JJ, she nodded.

"Its ok." She whispered, not to herself, but to everyone in the room. "It's ok, Spencer, I won't let anyone hurt you."

Aaron's bottom lip quivered. He could see the tension running through Spencer's hands. "It's ok, Spence." JJ whispered. Dave moved his hand from Aaron's shoulder to hold his hand. Aaron's knees felt week. Fear and desire. He wanted to watch how gently Morgan would take Spencer. He wanted to see those large dark hands caress Spencer's soft honey body. He knew the taste that Morgan had in his mouth. And he wanted shout out to leave Spencer alone. He watched Morgan's hands travel on Spencer, open buttons, open zippers, touch Spencer gently, intimately. The only sound was breathing, and the occasional groan from Morgan, the occasional reassure from JJ, the occasion whimper from Spencer. Aaron and Rossi stood silent.

"Can he?" Spencer asked Aaron's permission for Morgan's gentle, intimate touches. Aaron nodded. Morgan brought himself to his knees between Spencer's thighs and took Spencer, not yet ready, in his mouth.

"He's ok." JJ soothed them all. "You're safe, say no, and it all stops."

Morgan allowed his hand to seek entrance, to violate a halfway willing completely desperate Spencer. "It's ok pretty boy, tell me what you need, is that good pretty boy." He knew it was good, he also knew right now Spencer's body wouldn't let him know that.

"I love you." It just slipped out; and no one took offense. Aaron was finally able to trust that Morgan intended only the best, and to relax what he hadn't intended to a vice grip on Rossi's hand.

Spencer whimpered.

"Spencer? Can you want to tell me what happened?" It was Aaron's voice, as quiet, steady and gentle as when he was talking to a victim.

Spencer didn't want to be a victim. He was choosing this, he wasn't a victim. He could focus on JJ. He would let Morgan touch his body, he could focus on JJ, and then she kissed him. It was a breeze a brush a touch a wish, a mother's kiss. It wasn't harsh, it wasn't taking, it wasn't filled with desire, it was filled with love. And she released his lips.

"Aaron." Aaron was always amazed at how calm Spencer was when terrified, and Spencer was calm now.

"Hotch? Help him take me?" it was truly a question. Morgan, clothed, felt as vulnerable as Spencer looked, half naked, surrounded by people intent on touching him.

Aaron had no idea of what Spencer needed. He did know that Spencer needed it from him.

Rossi virtually shoved Aaron forward. "You heard Spencer, go help him."

There was a slightly grim look on Rossi's face. Aaron was being violated in a way that Spencer would never have intended if he had been thinking.

Then Spencer, dear Spencer, added, "If its alright with you? He doesn't have to?"

Aaron nearly smiled. That was Spencer, always thinking of him.

"Is this why you used?" It was an unintended question, but Aaron was well past the end of what he was able to endure, he kept going because of Spencer, but he wasn't going to do this again. He knew this was the moment that they had all dreaded. Why had Spencer asked him for this, again, what was so bad that he couldn't say it to him? What was his fault?

Spencer shook his head. "I used because I'm an addict."

Aaron lent over and pulled Spencer from Morgan's ministration, from JJ's protection, picked him up, carried him over to the settee, and set him down. Looming over the half-dressed, half exposed Spencer, holding him place, one knee resting between Spencer's splayed legs on the settee.

"Hotch, NO!" JJ was commanding. It wasn't an accident of timing or fear, it was a mother's instinct to protect, and Aaron Hotchner knew better than to interfere with that instinct.

Aaron looked over at her. "He asked for it." His voice is soft, and desperate, and he looks at her as he places one hand on either side of Spencer's ribs, and then looks back at Spencer as he menaces him, "Did you use because of this?" And one hand reaches down and touches Spencer's crotch.

"NO!" and again it's not Spencer's voice, it's JJ. And Hotch looks up at her again, and they hold each other's gaze. "Wait, just give him a moment, let him catch his breath."

And Hotch waits. And Morgan sits down and shakes his head. "Hotch, I will," and clearly he means this, "finish you, if any of this is against Reid's will."

And Hotch nods.

And Rossi barely moves him head, indicating to Aaron to returns his full attention to Spencer.

"Is this," he whispers "why you believed your own father to be capable of violating a child? Because he did it to you?" Aaron's voice is harsh, "Did you think he was going to kill you? As he held you down and raped you?"

Aaron's hands were all over him, Morgan's hands had violated him, with his permission, violated him. He kept giving his father permission, if he let him, if he let him, then his father would stay, and he could stay home and protect his mother, they wouldn't take his mother away, and they wouldn't take him away, if he never said no he would have a family. He hadn't said no. And he wanted Aaron's hands off him, he didn't want to be touched there, he didn't want to feel that way, the dirtiness the, desire, was that desire? What was that? He didn't want anyone to touch him. He wanted his clothes. And Aaron's hand's were all over him. And then he felt JJ slide herself in behind him, and support his head on her lap.

"She knew and she didn't stop him?"

"No." hushed, either a denial or a revelation. And everyone listened to the other breathing. How much had he said aloud?

"Aaron, please don't touch me there?" it was a question again, he felt Aaron Hotchner withdrew his hands.

"Rossi?" Spencer opened his eyes staring straight into Rossi's face where he had expected Aaron's.

"I don't want to be touched." He shook his head, he was cornered. He had used because he had sent his mother away, because he had destroyed the only relationship that meant anything to him, because he had agreed to be dirty and disgusting to keep her home, and then he had sent her away, he had failed completely. He didn't know why he was suddenly opposed to being dirty, he was dirty, and that's why he had used.

"Spencer? Close your eyes," she couldn't bring herself to ask what Spencer felt, "what do you smell?"

He let himself inhabit the moment. She was there. "She was there."

Give up. "Dave?" his eyes were closed, "take me?" He was already trying to close his legs to deny entry to the older man. He was quiet, stay quiet, don't let her know it hurts. Anything to take that moment away.

"Spencer?"

JJ, he opened his eyes to look up at her, forget everyone else, forget what is happening. "JJ?"

She stroked his hair. "Its going to hurt." She paused, letting herself gain composure for Spencer's sake, he couldn't see her afraid also. "How far away were you?" He hadn't noticed Dave come over, he hadn't even noticed himself agreeing to let Dave touch him instead of Aaron, because Aaron finally couldn't do this. "Is that where you always go when?"

Spencer shook his head before JJ finished the sentence. She waited. Eyes momentarily open, hooded, face flushed with fear, he looked around for Aaron. It was stupid to confess this, but once and done, he had to tell the truth, "I imagine you cutting me."


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for the faves and reviews and everything. Hopefully I'll get back to this being funny…but not this chapter….noooo….not at all….oh, wait….enter Straus! Half sad, half funny all Spencer Reid. Oh, and some decent smut soon, not with Straus, well maybe, that would be funny. Warnings, same as usual, mention of rape, cutting, castration, mental illness, you get the picture. This is sort of the second part of the preceding chapter….plus Strauss.

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Aaron sat down. He put his hands over his face. Rossi gently rested his hands on prominent bones of Spencer's pelvis. Morgan stared at the floor.

"Cutting?" JJ was soft in her question. "Did you do that before?"

Spencer nodded. The white scars on the inside of his thighs were enough to prove it, if the tears sneaking from the corners of his eyes hadn't been. "It takes it away." Everyone paused together. Present tense.

JJ wiped the tears from Spencers eyes with a thumb, and then from her own with the back of her wrist.

"Is that what you need me to do?" Aaron was quietly replacing Rossi between Spencer's knees, finally disposing of Spencer's jeans and underwear.

Spencer reached down and grabbed his own scrotal sac between a thumb and forefinger and pushed his balls down.

Aaron's hand joined Spencer's; covering what Spencer held in his hand.

"Please?"

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"You can't be serious Reid?" Morgan abruptly broke the spell.

"Kitchen." Rossi's voice wasn't loud, but it was clear that he and Morgan would be having a private conversation.

"We're acting like a cult Rossi! That kid is in there waiting for his lover, a man who he believes will protect him, a man who is not only nearly 20yrs older than him, but his boss, to cut his off his balls. And we were sitting there, because not half an hour ago we were going to," Morgan looked away from Rossi, "We were going to gang rape him, because his lover couldn't do it. What the hell is going on here?"

JJ walked into the kitchen, avoiding anyone's eyes.

"And?" Rossi knew things were reaching some kind of critical point, he didn't really want to be kept waiting.

"Hotch sent me in here. I think we should be talking about a 72hr hold."

"For Hotch." Morgan muttered.

Rossi raised his eyebrows. "Aaron?"

"You left him alone?" Morgan was ready to storm out of the kitchen and back into the living room, when Hotch caught his arm in passing. Morgan jerked away. "Hotch, I don't know what's going on between the two of you, but you don't get to make us all part of your sick fantasy."

Hotch's eyes held Morgan's. "I don't want it. If mutilating himself is what it takes for him to be with me then maybe I shouldn't be with him." His voice even, no inflection showing the hurt and fear he was holding back, something else to be buried inside.

"I'm calling psyche. Do you think he will admit himself?" JJ already had her phone out. Everyone else could discuss this, but Spencer needed someone to stand up for him, not talk about Will, or heavens help her, Henry was ever in this much pain she would want his friends to get him help.

"There's no way I could keep that from Strauss." Now there was despair in Aaron's voice.

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Spencer lay by himself, coming back into himself, still half naked, body still laid out and ready for Aaron to take what he needed so badly.

He shouldn't have. He had told Aaron the extent of it, and had frightened Aaron. He lay quietly contemplating how one apologizes for something like this.

There wasn't a socially appropriate for this.

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The sound of a key turning in a door lock brought Spencer back to reality; as did the sudden hush of voices from the kitchen.

"Damn." Muttered Rossi.

"Dr. Reid?"

Spencer was looking at Erin Strauss, who had let herself into David Rossi's house with her own key. Not that he hadn't know that, but she hadn't known this.

"Erin." Rossi paused, this wasn't going to be covered by 'I can explain.' This was more complicated than Jack.

"David." It was clipped. Erin Strauss didn't know that anyone other than David Rossi was in the kitchen. Maybe the tear stained, half naked, totally exposed, splayed on the couch Spencer Reid would be easier to explain than he had thought.

And if Reid did his best work under conditions of extreme terror, this would be a good time for Reid to be terrified as far as Rossi was concerned.

It would all have been easier if every last member of team didn't live under the false impression that Reid needed protection.

"Director Strauss." That was Aaron's voice, how in the hell could he sound so civil and in control, Spencer wondered. He liked the in control aspect, may that was part of what he found so attractive in Aaron.

Spencer pondered how badly this would affect Aaron's career.

"Agent Hotchner?" Erin Struass was clutching her purse as if to protect herself with it, or possibly throw it.

"Director Strauss."

"Agent Jarrow?"

Erin Strauss sat down, she had to sit down, she was going to faint. She shouldn't be surprised, this was a rouge team, and David kept her off kilter, but it seemed unfair for only part of this team to be, she paused in her own thoughts, she was worried about Alex Blake being excluded from an orgy as a new member? She felt so tired suddenly, a drink would really help, no wonder she drank. "IS the rest of your team here?"

"Don't worry ma'am. I invited everyone."

All faces spun to stare at Spencer Reid. He crossed his legs at his ankles and covered his manhood with his long hands. "Alex was busy, and I'm not Penny's cup of tea." He tilted his head, "I hadn't been expecting you. Dave?"

"Erin." Dave paused, reminding himself that every time one said 'I can explain' to a woman you simply admitted that you were wrong.

Morgan appeared from the kitchen. He nodded at Strauss, and then looked skeptically over at JJ. She shook her head, and indicated that she thought Dave might have something to do with it. Clearly he had something to do with it!

"Agent Morgan." She swallowed, there aught to be suitable questions for situations like this, guidelines, outlines, structures, but apparently there weren't. "Were you?" she startled.

Spencer had uncoiled his elegant body and laid a hand on her shoulder. "Would you like to talk about this privately, director?"

Dave's eyebrows shot up, did that boy have any, even the slightest idea of how provocative that sounded? He would be quite happy to discuss anything with Spencer Reid privately-if Reid was going to ask like that. He caught himself, this was an act, and he was right—sufficient terror.

Erin Strauss stared to say yes, then she started to say no, then she managed a "dr. Reid, I don't know,"

She may have been going to say more but Spencer thoughtfully offered to take her coat, reaching around behind her, letting his body touch hers in passing, accidentally.

"Thank you." She managed. She shouldn't be wishing that she had been invited, and this was not serendipity, it was a disaster.

Spencer stood up, and glided, sashayed, (Could you do both at the same time Dave wondered?) past Erin and to the coat rack.

"Dave?" Spencer looked around. "Scotch?"

How had she never noticed dr. Reid before?


	7. Chapter 7

Warnings? Pairings: establish hotch/reid, rossi/strauss, JJ/Will

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"JJ? Your coat?" Spencer Reid calmly passed out coats to his friends, pulled his pants on, and walked out the door. "Thanks Dave." Let Dave explain that mess to Erin any way he wanted; this as just the beginning of Spencer's personal problems.

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"Spencer?" Aaron was staring straight ahead. Both his hands were on the wheel, and Spencer had rarely seen Aaron look quite that grim. "I can't give you what you need."

"I," Spencer had put all his cards on the table, and it looked like he had been playing the wrong game. He wasn't going to apologize for this. "Aaron, I can do this without you. I'm the same person you were sleeping with a week ago. I'm no more dysfunctional now," That might not have been entirely true, Spencer probably had a thing or two more to work through than he did this morning.

"A week ago, Spencer, you were withholding information from me."

"Private information, Aaron."

Aaron flinched visibly, he hadn't thought there was a wall of privacy between himself and Spencer.

"That's actually what you think about?" They were still parked in the alley behind Rossi's house.

"I think about you touching me intimately in a way I find release."

Aaron Hotchner looked away; then reached over for a hand to hold. "I don't know."

Spencer nodded. This wasn't going to be solved in a conversation on the way home.

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"Erin, what was that about?" Rossi poured himself a drink.

She looked at him blankly; her mind was still far, far away.

"I'm not telling you what to do Erin, do you want a drink or not?"

"Aaron Hotchner?"

"Aaron Hotchner had his pants on."

"His toy boy didn't."

A flash of temper flitted across Dave Rossi's face. Erin Srauss needed to back out of this now. "Dr. Reid?"

"David?" it is a warning, but she isn't on top of this one, she's not sure of what is between Hotch and Reid and she's even less sure of what is between her and Dave, and she is completely not sure of what she had wanted between herself and 'dr. Reid.' "He's a little eccentric?"

David Rossi smiled, "You might say that."

"David, are you going to tell me more?" She's toed her shoes off.

David Rossi had always enjoyed a woman with a good bone.

He raised an eyebrow as he passed her a drink. "We all find ways to cope, Erin."

She looked away, knowing that she was going to pay for this evening. "It looks as though your friends were hoping for group therapy, led by the young dr. Reid."

"Erin, could we drop this?" Not that he expected that to happen.

"No, David, what got dropped around here tonight was trousers."

He saw his moment, and smiled, "Not panties?" A little wiggle to his eyebrows. Erin was always putty in his hands.

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"Will?"

Will turns over in bed. "I love you. Henry's asleep."

"I know, I checked him. Will," he opens his eyes slightly, "is there anything you would never tell me?"

He shakes his head; and runs a hand through her hair, "What's wrong JJ?"

She looks at him. "I forgot how fragile we all are."

Will pulls her into him, onto him, and holds her close, petting her hair, kissing her face.

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"Baby Girl?" he is standing on the steps to her apartment building, phone in his hand, praying that it is her in person and not an electronic chimera.

"It didn't go well did it?" She opens the door in bunny slippers and pink lace and bows in such quantities that one imagines there might be some strangulation risk.

"No." he stares at her for a moment, then wraps her in his arms. "You know I love you, right?"

She takes a few steps backwards, leading him into her space. She disentangles from him, takes his hands, leads him to her little kitchen, and offers him tea.

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"Reid?" Spencer closes his eyes and swallows; they are just inside the entryway to Aaron's home, to their home, no, after tonight, to Aaron's home. ' Reid' Aaron hasn't called him 'Reid' in private in years. He doesn't turn around. He palms are damp, he is cold through to the bone.

"Spencer?" He feels Aaron reach both arms around him from behind; and hold tight.

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Thanks for reading! And review! I think. I am going somewhere with this, I hadn't intended writing about much other than what happens when you don't close the door, and the story took over; so now I am writing about the aftermath of abuse, which is hard and complicated, and all those things. So thank you readers and reviewers.


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